21 June 2009

saw waking life on thursday for the first time since freshman year, its really strange how differently ive perceived it this time. honestly the first time i saw it i dont think i got much out of it. this time, however, its interesting to reflect on what i perceived and which parts i really related with. i think this is due to my being more acutely aware of what matters to me, allowing me to focus in on these parts.

i like this part because they discuss photography in relation to god and holiness. i often find myself caught up in these holy moments, i think thats why i am so quiet most of the time and so drawn to the mediums of photography and cinema and the constructs of buddhism for they all allow you to reflect and submerse yourself in these moments to a larger degree.

i also like this
part for the way in which the woman describes her view of her life as if she is observing her life from the perspective of an old woman about to die - thats exactly how i feel about my life almost all of the time, ive never been able to explain it as clearly as she does here. i often feel like i have already lived and am about to die - i think thats why i feel this immense urgency to do things, and sometimes i feel viscerally jolted when i realize i am only 20 and can actually influence what is going on in my present surroundings.