/ justin dillard, writer, sunday 22 july 2012 park slope ny

/ my brother evan in our backyard, june 2012 webster ny

i have learned that you learn more about a person's character in the days following the '..i'm sorry, i don't love you' than you may have ever learned about them under other circumstances..

"..because i know that time is always time

and place is always and only place

and what is actual is actual only for one time

and only for one place

i rejoice that things are as they are and

i renounce the blessed face

and renounce the voice

because i cannot hope to turn again

consequently i rejoice, having to construct something

upon which to rejoice.."

/ from ash wednesday by ts eliot 1930

/ gabrielle in my room, fall 2011 brooklyn ny

'this is thy hour o soul, thy free flight into the wordless,
away from books, away from art, the day erased, the lesson done,
thee fully forth emerging, silent, gazing, pondering the themes thou
lovest best.
night, sleep, and the stars.'


/ 'a clear midnight' by walt whitman

/ my brother evan at the hotel window, 18 february 2011 brooklyn ny

you are what you love not what loves you
what an ambivalent statement

/ self, bed june 16 brooklyn ny

'what we experience in dreams -- assuming that we experience it often -- belongs in the end just as much to the over-all economy of our soul as anything experienced "actually": we are richer or poorer on account of it.'


/ friedrich nietzsche, from beyond good and evil

/ church underground, 28 may 2012 brooklyn ny

..and then someone whispered 'every night i die in your arms, every morning i am reborn'

/ jasper elings, untitledlandscapes.jpg

'the most noble kind of beauty is that which does not carry us away suddenly, whose attacks are not violent or intoxicating (this kind easily awakens disgust), but rather the kind of beauty which infiltrates slowly, which we carry along with us almost unnoticed, and meet up with again in dreams; finally, after it has for a long time lain modestly in our heart, it takes complete possession of us, filling our eyes with tears, our hearts with longing.
   what do we long for when we see beauty? to be beautiful. we think much happiness must be connected with it. but that is an error.'


/ excerpt from 'human, all too human' by friedrich nietzsche, #149 'the slow arrow of beauty'

/ my beautiful sister lauren, webster ny 03 june 2012

'we were together. i forget the rest.'


/ walt whitman

/ the hour of the wolf, ingmar bergman 1968

/ inspirations

'his brain was perfect; it must be the fault of the world then - that he could not feel.


/ virginia woolf, mrs dalloway

/ jarek puczal

"you are coming home
are you still alone
are you not the same as you used to be
as the sun grows high
and you serve your time
does each day just feel like another lie
now you know
is it just for show
just a foolish game that you hide behind
dont forget the nights
when it all felt right
are you not the same as you used to be
used to be

in a endless night 
would you feel the fright
of the age that wasn't
could never be
so we hold it close
when we feel the most 
like a love that we could not leave behind 
we turn the wheel
to which way we feel
till our thoughts lift
i can not find you there
don't forget the nights when it all felt right
are you not the same as you used to be
used to be

even if i try so hard
would we still be coming to an end
even if we spoke the same words
would we still return as friends
even if its simple from the start
we will give the pieces of the heart
and when there is nothing left to pretend
we will know its coming to an end

even if we try so hard
we will give pieces of our heart
its always good to see you again
even if its coming to an end

we can wait until the summer
see what happens to the other
we can stay inside all summer
see what happens to the other"


/ this song is so relevant now....

/ avant garde dance video made on the shores of stratford ct with azumi, january 2011

/ the beauty and the strength in fragility

i will wade out
                        till my thighs are steeped in burning flowers
I will take the sun in my mouth
and leap into the ripe air
                                       Alive
                                                 with closed eyes
to dash against darkness
                                       in the sleeping curves of my body
Shall enter fingers of smooth mastery
with chasteness of sea-girls
                                            Will i complete the mystery
                                            of my flesh
I will rise
               After a thousand years
lipping
flowers
             And set my teeth in the silver of the moon

-e.e. cummings - I Will Wade Out

'we name time when we say: every thing has its time. this means: everything which actually is, every being comes and goes at the right time and remains for a time during the time allotted to it. every thing has its time.'


/ martin heidegger, german philosopher

/ new video piece, 'stop scrying' 2011

/ new series posted on the site! malum -- photos & videos

/ from the series malum, 2011 

"I still live, I still think: I still have to live, for I still have to think. Sum, ergo cogito: cogito, ergo sum. Today everybody permits himself the expression of his wish and his dearest thought; hence I, too, shall say what it is that I wish from myself today, and what was the first thought to run across my heart this year — what thought shall be for me the reason, warranty, and sweetness of my life henceforth. I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is necessary in things; then I shall be one of those who make things beautiful. Amor fati: let that by my love henceforth! I do not want to wage war against what is ugly. I do not want to accuse; I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. Looking away shall be my only negation. And all in all and on the whole: some day I wish to be only a Yes-sayer."


/ passage from friedrich nietzsche's 'the gay science' section 276 

/ erich heckel, 'franzi reclining' 1910
mmmm german expressionism, so into you right now