"you are coming home
are you still alone
are you not the same as you used to be
as the sun grows high
and you serve your time
does each day just feel like another lie
now you know
is it just for show
just a foolish game that you hide behind
dont forget the nights
when it all felt right
are you not the same as you used to be
used to be

in a endless night 
would you feel the fright
of the age that wasn't
could never be
so we hold it close
when we feel the most 
like a love that we could not leave behind 
we turn the wheel
to which way we feel
till our thoughts lift
i can not find you there
don't forget the nights when it all felt right
are you not the same as you used to be
used to be

even if i try so hard
would we still be coming to an end
even if we spoke the same words
would we still return as friends
even if its simple from the start
we will give the pieces of the heart
and when there is nothing left to pretend
we will know its coming to an end

even if we try so hard
we will give pieces of our heart
its always good to see you again
even if its coming to an end

we can wait until the summer
see what happens to the other
we can stay inside all summer
see what happens to the other"


/ this song is so relevant now....

/ avant garde dance video made on the shores of stratford ct with azumi, january 2011

/ the beauty and the strength in fragility

i will wade out
                        till my thighs are steeped in burning flowers
I will take the sun in my mouth
and leap into the ripe air
                                       Alive
                                                 with closed eyes
to dash against darkness
                                       in the sleeping curves of my body
Shall enter fingers of smooth mastery
with chasteness of sea-girls
                                            Will i complete the mystery
                                            of my flesh
I will rise
               After a thousand years
lipping
flowers
             And set my teeth in the silver of the moon

-e.e. cummings - I Will Wade Out

'we name time when we say: every thing has its time. this means: everything which actually is, every being comes and goes at the right time and remains for a time during the time allotted to it. every thing has its time.'


/ martin heidegger, german philosopher

/ new video piece, 'stop scrying' 2011

/ new series posted on the site! malum -- photos & videos

/ from the series malum, 2011 

"I still live, I still think: I still have to live, for I still have to think. Sum, ergo cogito: cogito, ergo sum. Today everybody permits himself the expression of his wish and his dearest thought; hence I, too, shall say what it is that I wish from myself today, and what was the first thought to run across my heart this year — what thought shall be for me the reason, warranty, and sweetness of my life henceforth. I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is necessary in things; then I shall be one of those who make things beautiful. Amor fati: let that by my love henceforth! I do not want to wage war against what is ugly. I do not want to accuse; I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. Looking away shall be my only negation. And all in all and on the whole: some day I wish to be only a Yes-sayer."


/ passage from friedrich nietzsche's 'the gay science' section 276 

/ erich heckel, 'franzi reclining' 1910
mmmm german expressionism, so into you right now

/ new photo illustration, shot this week for AARP magazine for a story on divorce

/ ling, february 2009 syracuse ny

/ lots of my work went up on the gallery stock website today!

/ still from 'vivre sa vie' of a frame from 'the passion of joan of arc'

an old woman passes me carefully.

all my grandmothers live alone

contentedly. they miss their men,

but not in bed, not in the kitchen,

not deep in their work. if i outlive you

will i want nothing? winter always provides

a next thing to do: hurry home.

get warm. i turn my hands in steam

from the coffee. the perfect cold

without snow has undone a layer

of good farmland. how can we breathe

this air made visible by rising dust?

/ 'learning the elements' from the book salt air by sharon bryan

/ portrait of the artist as your friend, a self-portrait in brooklyn ny october 2011

/ georgia o'keeffe by alfred stieglitz

'she had the perpetual sense, as she watched the taxi cabs, of being out, out, far out to sea and alone; she always had the feeling that it was very, very, dangerous to live even one day.' -- quote from mrs. dalloway by virginia woolf

/ self portrait with taxi, manhattan ny february 2012

'ultimately, it doesn't matter why magic works, because magic does work; it works with remarkable ease. which brings me to another point: magic is in itself very, very easy. it simply consists of doing what the human brain does every day, that is perceive and manipulate symbols. magic is only difficult because it requires us to perceive and manipulate symbols that most people don't even admit exist. being a mage has much more to do with being a competent human being than it has to do with mastering magic. more accurately, there is more magic in being a competent human being than in warping the fundamental, symbolic nature of reality.'

/ quote from 'postmodern magic: the art of magic in the information age' by patrick dunn

'the dark thought, the shame, the malice,

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

be grateful for whoever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.'

/ rumi

/ the church i went to as a child, holy trinity webster ny

term of the day:

SERVOMECHANISM -- sometimes shortened to servo, is an automatic device that uses error-sensing negative feedback to correct the performance of a mechanism.

/ working on audio transfers of field recordings of irish gypsies telling folktales in the 1960s today at work and noticed the recorder had servo control. sounded pretty fucking rad as a concept, so i did some research on it

Bruce Nauman ‘Failing to Levitate in the Studio’, 1966

i haven't posted here in a month in lieu of some internal reflecting rather than external outpouring. it is necessary at times to turn all the way in in order to see out again more clearly.

hope you've been well there :)