beauty will save the world

2012-02-14T16:16:00.002-05:00

term of the day:

SERVOMECHANISM -- sometimes shortened to servo, is an automatic device that uses error-sensing negative feedback to correct the performance of a mechanism.

/ working on audio transfers of field recordings of irish gypsies telling folktales in the 1960s today at work and noticed the recorder had servo control. sounded pretty fucking rad as a concept, so i did some research on it

2012-02-04T17:26:00.003-05:00

Bruce Nauman ‘Failing to Levitate in the Studio’, 1966

2012-02-04T17:17:00.004-05:00

i haven't posted here in a month in lieu of some internal reflecting rather than external outpouring. it is necessary at times to turn all the way in in order to see out again more clearly.

hope you've been well there :)

2011-12-21T17:58:00.002-05:00

/ the reference + the inspiration, stills from 'en passion' by ingmar bergman 1969

2011-12-20T10:40:00.001-05:00

// good news!

feeling inspired again

feeling happy

feeling free

nearly done with editing recent projects

on to layout phase of book project i'm working on

in preliminary stages of new projects

2011-12-20T10:31:00.001-05:00

/ recent inspirations from internets

2011-12-14T15:57:00.001-05:00

/ but you can be whoever you want baby.. we can all be whoever we want

mid-2010/ brooklyn ny

2011-12-14T15:56:00.000-05:00

2011-12-05T12:21:00.001-05:00

/ felt inspired to make this this morning

2011-11-25T12:09:00.001-05:00

/ i am in love with edvard munch's genius works

2011-11-25T10:54:00.002-05:00

'we do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds, our planet is the mental institution of the universe.'

/ johann wolfgang von goethe, german writer artist & philosopher

2011-11-25T10:23:00.000-05:00

2011-11-22T17:13:00.000-05:00

/ from alfred hitchcock's rebecca 1940

2011-11-02T12:15:00.001-04:00

/ brett dougherty, artist brooklyn ny october 2011

2011-10-27T12:12:00.001-04:00

/ new work approaching

self portrait brooklyn ny september 2011

2011-10-20T09:52:00.002-04:00

/ stills from autumn sonata, ingmar bergman 1978

2011-10-20T09:50:00.002-04:00

'the illimitable, silent, never-resting thing called time, rolling, rushing on, swift, silent, like an all-embracing ocean-tide, on which we and all the universe swim like exhalations, like apparitions which are, and then are not... '

/ thomas carlyle, scottish satirical writer, essayist, historian & teacher during the victorian era

2011-10-17T12:49:00.002-04:00

2011-10-16T13:33:00.004-04:00

/ still from saraband, 2003 ingmar bergman

i finished watching this film last night, unsure of how i felt about it most of the way through. towards the end i felt an overwhelming surge of emotion. i wept.. extremely touching film about life, aging, love and death. this was also bergmans last film before he passed.

2011-10-16T01:17:00.000-04:00

2011-10-07T18:22:00.004-04:00

/ some phone photographs from my 23rd birthday yesterday!! thanks to my family & friends for making it beautiful, i feel very blessed xx

2011-10-05T11:25:00.003-04:00

'the endless cycle of idea and action,
endless invention, endless experiment,
brings knowledge of motion, but not of stillness;
knowledge of speech, but not of silence;

knowledge of words, and ignorance of the word.
all our knowledge brings us nearer to our ignorance,
all our ignorance brings us nearer to death,
but nearness to death no nearer to .
where is the life we have lost in living?
where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
where is the knowledge we have lost in information?
the cycles of heaven in twenty centuries

bring us farther from god and nearer to the dust.'

/ excerpt from the introduction to 'the rock' by ts eliot, 1934

2011-10-04T20:44:00.002-04:00

/ jp bevins, philadelphia pa 02 october 2011

2011-10-03T21:51:00.002-04:00

'Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question . . .
Oh, do not ask, "What is it?"
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?"
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair--
[They will say: "How his hair is growing thin!"]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin--
[They will say: "But how his arms and legs are thin!"]
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:--
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?'

/ excerpt from 'the love song of j. alfred prufrock', by ts eliot 1919

my god my god, so moving. read the whole piece online HERE

2011-09-30T11:39:00.002-04:00

/ stills from persona, ingmar bergman 1966

2011-09-29T13:37:00.003-04:00

/ drew stanley, manhattan ny september 2011

2011-09-28T21:46:00.000-04:00

'writing about the origin of cries and whispers, bergman describes a persistent but wholly isolated image that kept coming back to him for more than a year without his knowing why: 'over and over: the room draped all in red with women clad in white. that's the way it is: images obstinately resurface without my knowing what they want with me; then they disappear only to come back, looking exactly the same.' in several interviews he has said that the creativity in his directing of film or theatre relies mainly upon his momentary intuitions rather than any fixed or premeditated reasoning.'

/ from the book 'ingmar bergman, cinematic philosopher' by irving singer 2007

yes yes yes yes yes yes yes i'm in love with this man.

2011-09-28T20:40:00.002-04:00

/ went to moma today & impulsively attended one of the film screenings - duel of the sun. was a western movie & was quite beautiful visually. the ending of this film was rather intense/extreme, here it is above

2011-09-28T18:00:00.002-04:00

/ last night i was feeling absolutely awful & sad. i decided to draw, perhaps in an attempt to distract myself/rekindle a drawing habit. i have a lot of reference books out from the library, so i opened to a page in a book about the virgin mary and drew it. here's my charcoal sketch of dierick bouts' 1490s painting 'mater dolorosa' which means in translation: 'the virgin mary sorrowing for the death of christ'

2011-09-28T00:06:00.002-04:00

hang in kid, it's almost over.

2011-09-25T21:50:00.001-04:00

/ jordan tiberio, september 2011 brooklyn ny

2011-09-25T21:42:00.002-04:00

/ rough scan, september 2011 brooklyn ny

2011-09-22T14:15:00.000-04:00

'Well, we're grasping for two things at once. Partly for communion with others - that's the deepest instinct in us. And partly, we're seeking security. By constant communion with others we hope we shall be able to accept the horrible fact of our total solitude.'

/ ingmar bergman, filmmaker genius hero et al

2011-09-20T21:36:00.001-04:00

/ kuan luo, brooklyn ny 11 september 2011

2011-09-20T19:17:00.005-04:00

interviewer: Why can’t you be alone without Yoko?

john lennon: But I can be alone without Yoko, but I just have no wish to be. There’s no reason on earth why I should be alone without Yoko. There’s nothing more important than our relationship, nothing. And we dig being together all the time. Both of us could survive apart but what for? I’m not going to sacrifice love, real love for any whore or any friend or any business, because in the end you’re alone at night and neither of us want to be. and you can’t fill a bed with groupies. It doesn’t work. I don’t want to be a swinger. I’ve been through it all and nothing works better than to have someone you love hold you.

/ i haven't been through it all, but i have always known/felt this last statement to be true

2011-09-20T19:11:00.001-04:00

2011-09-19T11:31:00.002-04:00

/ a portrait of me by jordan tiberio, 18 september brooklyn ny

2011-09-16T20:36:00.006-04:00

and through the sleepless nights and the loveless days i think i found the answer, now, here in the pages of the dhammapada and the dripping joyless ecstasy of uncertainty - it is to have no ties no connections to anything - not to other humans or food or drink or any other vices or anything anything at all - -- to be utterly and completely free. just be free, be clear, to not want anything, to be able to get up and go. to be silent and listen. to have no outward opinion, to not get involved. to say nothing in place of being cruel. to love everything and have the ability to love everything for the sheer reason that you are detached - completely and utterly free of all ties to anyone, anything. the character ivan in dostoevskys 'the brothers karamazov' said - "I must make one confession. I could never understand how one can love one's neighbours. It's just one's neighbours, to my mind, that one can't love, though one might love those at a distance." truer words have never been spoken! i believe this is why we love people so much at a distance. for when we are away from them and we can input our own hopes/dreams for their personalities into the space that exists between us and them - we can create fantasy, delusion, traits and qualities that don't even exist or have the briefest hint of real existence. i love you, i say; i love you, but i don't really know you. i know you for what i know of myself's hope & desire of what i see that you could be, but you are not. i can't see myself. i can't really see myself so i don't know how i would expect myself to see you for what you are. i don't live in this world. i can't. i suffocate and lose air and choke and will die if kept here too long. i am like a fish without gills trying to live in the ocean. it is not possible for me to exist here and so i must create my own world. my own happy delusion, my own fantasy. when i am alone i can convince myself that it is real. i don't expect you to accept this or appreciate it or understand. yet it is who i am. i am happiest when i am alone and miserable and productive. my life is my work, and yet in the recent days my life has been to live. living, much too real. i have become too much like girl and less like machine in recent time. perhaps its not possible to maintain the state of a machine but i have to try because being a girl seems altogether much too unbearable. i have to try to live alone and without emotion of my own coming out through the body, i must channel this emotion through my work. and yet.. part of me still wants to love you, needs to, probably always will. silly girl. with all you know you still give in to it or play with the idea. you are drowning and drowning in this ocean, dear, and it's only a matter of time

2011-09-16T20:33:00.001-04:00

/ new + updated iconoclast images

2011-09-16T20:29:00.002-04:00

She turns and looks a moment in the glass,
Hardly aware of her departed lover;
Her brain allows one half-formed thought to pass:
“Well now that’s done: and I’m glad it’s over.”
When lovely woman stoops to folly and
Paces about her room again, alone,
She smoothes her hair with automatic hand,
And puts a record on the gramophone. / excerpt from part III: the fire sermon, of 'the waste land' by ts eliot

2011-09-12T16:13:00.000-04:00

2011-09-08T23:24:00.001-04:00

/ new portraits, martin & mitchell, brooklyn ny august 2011

2011-08-28T12:10:00.002-04:00

please don't ever say 'i do' when, clearly babe, you just don't.

2011-08-28T12:08:00.001-04:00

/ womb, we all just want to feel safe & loved summer 2009 syracuse new york

2011-08-21T23:58:00.003-04:00

So here I am, in the middle way, having had twenty years—
Twenty years largely wasted, the years of l'entre deux guerres
Trying to use words, and every attempt
Is a wholly new start, and a different kind of failure
Because one has only learnt to get the better of words
For the thing one no longer has to say, or the way in which
One is no longer disposed to say it. And so each venture
Is a new beginning, a raid on the inarticulate
With shabby equipment always deteriorating
In the general mess of imprecision of feeling,
Undisciplined squads of emotion. And what there is to conquer
By strength and submission, has already been discovered
Once or twice, or several times, by men whom one cannot hope
To emulate—but there is no competition—
There is only the fight to recover what has been lost
And found and lost again and again: and now, under conditions
That seem unpropitious. But perhaps neither gain nor loss.
For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.

Home is where one starts from. As we grow older
The world becomes stranger, the pattern more complicated
Of dead and living. Not the intense moment
Isolated, with no before and after,
But a lifetime burning in every moment
And not the lifetime of one man only
But of old stones that cannot be deciphered.
There is a time for the evening under starlight,
A time for the evening under lamplight
(The evening with the photograph album).
Love is most nearly itself
When here and now cease to matter.
Old men ought to be explorers
Here or there does not matter
We must be still and still moving
Into another intensity
For a further union, a deeper communion
Through the dark cold and the empty desolation,
The wave cry, the wind cry, the vast waters
Of the petrel and the porpoise. In my end is my beginning.

/ excerpt from quartet 2: east coker of ts eliots four quartets

2011-08-21T23:55:00.003-04:00

/ and oh! how much i miss you baby when you are away.. brooklyn ny 2011

2011-08-17T19:59:00.014-04:00

/ new arrival from paris! all magazine - 12 page color spread + bio!

thanks again to my mom for the photos (i have all media sent to my parents home bc my mail in brooklyn is not reliable aka my mailbox does not lock..) <3

2011-08-12T17:09:00.002-04:00

'when i found them together i felt

the need to destroy. he ran

under the piano like a mouse.

while the dagger was handy nothing

could keep me from breaking

through the shell of her body.

i did not weep or kill myself.

only seeing her in the coffin

could make me understand. the flowers

grew out of her breasts like bloodstains.

how often in russia we say, "forgive me,"

when we only mean, "good-bye".'

/ excerpt from "the kreutzer sonata" by ira sadoff

from the book "open places" #31&32, stephens college fall 1981

2011-08-10T00:03:00.001-04:00

/ evan's wrinkled feet upon taking off rain-soaked sneakers, 2 july 2011 webster ny

2011-08-04T18:11:00.002-04:00

recent press/publications (to let you know i am still alive) --

// 'a book of beds' published by FOAM magazine amsterdam may 2011

one of my photographs from the 'iconoclast' series was published.

thank you to my mother for sending me pictures of the finished product

// 'digital photo' german edition september 2011 issue

my 'underwater' exhibition is mentioned!

thanks to my gallery in munich for this

2011-07-28T15:35:00.000-04:00

/ excited to get some polish love! (i am 50% polish) :)

2011-07-28T15:22:00.002-04:00

// the mind & body must be clear in order to work.

i am slowly remembering my teachings

seems i have not been heeding my own advice.

i am slowly getting my self back on track.

the mind & body must be clear in order to work//

2011-07-28T15:08:00.001-04:00

2011-07-28T14:52:00.002-04:00

/ i approve of this description of me from this article HERE

thanks dudes at wicked-halo i appreciate the love

2011-07-27T18:48:00.003-04:00

/ my beautiful cousin jessie and i taking a brief hiatus from my little brothers grad party to document the occasion, 3 july 2011 webster ny

2011-07-27T17:27:00.002-04:00

been sleeping an awful lot the past few days. conclusion - you start living through dreams when you are asleep for long periods. strange how vivid, odd and life-like things that happen seem. also noticed that i retain a lot more details upon waking after i've slept for a long time. i find sleeping an excessive amount can actually be quite healthy if you are in the right mindset and need some type of boost. seems to have helped me out a bit

2011-07-27T17:20:00.000-04:00

/ caleb sheldon at his house, syracuse ny 2009

2011-07-26T23:52:00.001-04:00

/ justin dillard visits manhattan, december 2010

2011-07-26T20:37:00.002-04:00

today i found out i am anemic. hence why i am always so exhausted which in turn makes me sad because i can't concentrate/sit up long enough to do any work most of the time

2011-07-26T00:59:00.002-04:00

just returned home from a solitary late night study session at the diner down the road. took a few of my new reference books that i haven't really looked through there and began reading/recording thoughts. i am happy to say i now have a couple directions to head in.. feeling better/more ambitious about my future work for the first time in a long time

2011-07-25T22:26:00.000-04:00

/ new piece, pass it on

2011-07-25T22:08:00.002-04:00

/ manhattan-bound montrose L stop platform in brooklyn ny, 2010

believe it or not i got some dirty looks for taking this picture

2011-07-25T21:28:00.003-04:00

today--

at 1am i emailed my boss and said i could no longer work. i then went to sleep. i didn't wake up fully until 130pm and i could barely move i was so stiff. realized something was wrong, called my psychiatrist for appt. called my mom to tell her, somehow started talking about pets which rekindled my desire to care for a hedgehog. finally got myself up and dressed, gathered computer to go to coffee shop. psychiatrist calls and says she can see me. i head to the subway instead of the coffee shop. get to her office, talk to her about aches and pains in my joints/body and tell her im so tired and disinterested in everything and i think something is seriously wrong. i tell her the dosage i've been taking of this one med she prescribed me and she gets very nervous - tells me it is much too high, much too rapidly. i start feeling freaked out, i can see her hands start shaking. i ask if i should go to emergency as ive been taking that dosage for 3-4 weeks. she says yes, probably. gets my dr on the phone, he says to come over straight away. leave her office in a semi-panic bc i am feeling so worn out/shitty and walk 6 blocks to my drs office. wait there for awhile. get my blood drawn, dr tells me not to worry that the blood tests will sort it out. i leave the office. begin walking around manhattan in a daze. it is pouring rain. i walk for a long time, alone. i feel like i am going to die and it is an odd sensation. i pass a chipotle and eat a salad. i leave and continue walking. for some reason i go into manhattan mall bc i walk past it and go to victorias secret. i bought some stuff, actually. went home, bought frozen yogurt on the way. curled up on my bed when i got home under my blankets with my ice cream and watched a movie. i am extremely sore and achy and fairly concerned as i can't do anything productive like sit up and edit photos. going to try and go for a walk now..... why is almost everything so confusing lately?

2011-07-25T00:13:00.002-04:00

/ thank you GoSee creative news services

2011-07-22T21:23:00.001-04:00

2011-07-21T15:50:00.005-04:00

/ your cigarette in my incense tray at my apt in brooklyn after you went home, june 2011

i document everything in one way or another for more reasons than i can explain w/ words

2011-07-21T15:32:00.001-04:00

/ very honored to have had one of my images selected for publication in 'a book of beds' put together by international photography publication FOAM magazine which is published quarterly by Foam Fotografiemuseum Amsterdam and Vandejong. the image they selected, pictured above, is from my iconoclast series and is a photograph of my parents bed in rochester ny. read more about the book at FOAM's website HERE

2011-07-21T13:48:00.000-04:00

this is my thousandth post.

2011-07-19T23:50:00.002-04:00

'i don't believe in the other world

but i don't believe in this world either

if it's not penetrated by light

i believe in the body of a woman

hit by a car on the street

i believe in bodies

stopped in a rush

in mid-gesture in reaching out

as if something long awaited

was just about to happen

as if in a minute

meaning was to raise up

its index finger

i believe in the blind eye

in the deaf ear

in the lame leg

in the wrinkle on the forehead

in the red flush on a cheek

i believe in bodies lying

in the trust of sleep

in the patience of old age

in the frailty of the unborn

i believe in a hair of the dead

left on a brown beret

...

i don't believe in this world

empty

like a railway station in the morning

when all the trains have left

for the other world

the world is one

especially when it wakes up covered in

dew

and god walks among the bushes

of animal and human dreams'

/ passage from 'the other world' by anna kamienska, polish poet/writer

2011-07-18T10:55:00.000-04:00

/ baby, baby you are the most beautiful....

2011-07-16T22:31:00.000-04:00

"What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction."

/ chuck palahniuk, writer

2011-07-16T12:33:00.001-04:00

/ Fernande with a Black Mantilla (Fernande à la mantille noire), Picasso, Paris, 1905–06

one of my favourite paintings of all time. went to see it at the guggenheim yesterday.

2011-07-09T14:54:00.004-04:00

/ the virgin mary relaxs in a chair at a thrift store in williamsburg, new york may 2011

new edition to my iconoclast series

2011-07-09T11:42:00.003-04:00

/ thank you to webdesigner depot for a write-up on my work. you can view the post HERE

2011-07-07T18:29:00.005-04:00

/ today is not a good day. everything feels hard and forced and i do not feel satisfied or happy or content in the slightest. i feel like i am crawling out of my skin and i feel alone. everything seems big and empty and i feel very sad and like i could cry at any moment. i do not like this overwhelming sensation that i am growing used to more and more rapidly. i need to get out..

2011-07-07T17:28:00.000-04:00

/ jessica & jamie, webster ny 3 july 2011

2011-07-03T09:58:00.003-04:00

/ i was very fortunate to be interviewed recently by katja kemnitz, an editor at kwerfeldein.de, germany's largest online photography magazine. the interview can be viewed HERE

2011-06-30T15:15:00.001-04:00

/ candela-project.com

2011-06-29T15:58:00.003-04:00

/ headed home to rochester tomorrow afternoon

my little brother, evan (top), has graduated from high school and so everyone is headed homeward. i will see all these guys (my familyyyy) for the first time together since christmas! going to make mad photos sons

2011-06-29T15:50:00.004-04:00

A cold wind flows over the cornfields;
Fleets of blackbirds ride that ocean.
I want to be in that wild, be
Outdoors, live anywhere in the wind.

I settle down, with my back against
A shed wall where no one can find me.
I stare out at the box elder leaves
Moving in this mysterious water.

What is it that I want? Not money,
Not a large desk, a house with ten rooms.
This is what I want to do: To sit here,
Take no part, be called away by wind.

// "The Call Away" by Robert Bly from Eating the Honey of Words: New and Selected Poems HarperCollins, New York (1999), p. 24 (Web) Silence in the Snowy Fields (1958-1978) from this website. robert bly is + will always be one of my favourites

2011-06-29T15:27:00.001-04:00

2011-06-28T17:52:00.001-04:00

/ the hands of my mother and my father, december 2010 upstate ny

2011-06-28T17:39:00.003-04:00

//show in munich of my underwater photographs opens in two days!

june 30-end of sept 2011. check it out on the gallery webpage: candela-project.com

2011-06-25T19:00:00.005-04:00

2009:

2010:

2011:

/ my younger brother evan & sister lauren through the years

i took a picture of my bro and sis together in 2009 and it seems every year since (which has only been 3 so far, but still) i have taken a picture of them together. i've included 2009 and 2010 here as well as the two new ones i have for 2011, not sure which one i like of these better x

2011-06-25T17:30:00.003-04:00

/ raw & unedited film scans of boys in my apartment, brooklyn ny

from top: robbie, february 2011; zebadiah, march 2011; andrew, april 2011

2011-06-25T17:24:00.004-04:00

/ photo of new watch feat. static electricity, bed head, big musclesss & poor representation of what the watch actually looks like due to intense window-light blowout. woooops

finally got the watch i've been searching for yesterday in chinatown!

2011-06-25T17:16:00.001-04:00

[...] At the still point of the turning world.

Neither flesh nor fleshless;

Neither from nor towards; at the still point,

there the dance is [...]

/ excerpt from ts eliots four quartets

2011-06-22T23:42:00.010-04:00

jamie at her birthday party, june 2010 webster ny

/ it is 1147pm and i toast to the duality of the loss of innocence and the beauty of life and how you look so peaceful right now sleeping next to me on my bed and blessed blessed blessed that is all that there is and ever will be forever and ever amen and if only you knew the depths of it all......amen amen

2011-06-22T23:33:00.004-04:00

'My nerves are bad to-night. Yes, bad. Stay with me.
'Speak to me. Why do you never speak? Speak.
'What are you thinking of? What thinking? What?
'I never know what you are thinking. Think.'

I think we are in rats' alley	115
Where the dead men lost their bones.

'What is that noise?'
The wind under the door.
'What is that noise now? What is the wind doing?'
Nothing again nothing.	120
'Do
'You know nothing? Do you see nothing? Do you remember
'Nothing?'
I remember
Those are pearls that were his eyes.' / excerpt from 'II: a game of chess' from ts eliot's the wasteland

2011-06-21T17:00:00.007-04:00

/ today marks the summer solstice, the longest day of the year
the photo above is of druids (defined as 'priests, magicians, or soothsayers in the ancient Celtic religion') at the site of stonehenge performing a ritualistic celebration. fucking badass

2011-06-21T16:47:00.003-04:00

/ stills from 'the seventh seal' ingmar bergman 1957
specific scene is 'the knight's first meeting with death'
such a beautiful and profound film

2011-06-16T17:04:00.003-04:00

/ ironic blurry photo of work being done by myself as a photo assistant

this is what i was doing today! splicing kodachrome slides and scanning them before editing. photographic subjects scanned included a genetics lab, swans, and a story on george orwell --some of my favorite things

2011-06-16T17:00:00.003-04:00

'The personality of the artist, at first a cry or a cadence or a mood and then a fluid and lambent narrative, finally refines itself out of existence, impersonalizes itself, so to speak. The esthetic image in the dramatic form is life purified in and reprojected from the human imagination. The mystery of esthetic, like that of material creation, is accomplished. The artist, like the God of creation, remains within or behind or beyond or above his handiwork, invisible, refined out of existence, indifferent, paring his fingernails.'

/ quote from 'a portrait of the artist as a young man' by james joyce

currently reading this novel now, lots of relevance

2011-06-14T21:07:00.006-04:00

/ to the overwhelming beauty of life & love

2011-06-14T17:13:00.005-04:00

/ posted some new old work on my website - see it here. originally shot this for hong-kong based VISION magazine as an editorial, not sure if it was ever published or not. it is entitled 'alpha' as i was reading about witchcraft at the time i shot this and got very into the idea of the alpha state of mind which is an ideal, relaxed mindset used for guided healing imagery. model credit to zebadiah keneally, november 2010 brooklyn ny

2011-06-14T16:15:00.004-04:00

//currently feeling like absolute death and researching the concept of rebirth for an article i'm writing in coordination with the publication of my underwater series for a french magazine. rebirth is a very moving concept to study - lots of insightful ideas and life-altering awarenesses.

"Buddhist meditation teachers suggest that observation reveals consciousness as a sequence of conscious moments rather than a continuum of awareness. Each moment is an experience of an individual mind-state such as a thought, a memory, a feeling or a perception. A mind-state arises, exists and, being impermanent, ceases, following which the next mind-state arises. Thus the consciousness of a sentient being can be seen as a continuous series of birth and death of these mind-states. Rebirth is the persistence of this process." / from 'rebirth as cycle of consciousness'

2011-06-12T06:54:00.003-04:00

/ goodbyes by pablo neruda

found this audio recording of myself reading the poem goodbyes by pablo neruda last night on my computer. i recorded it in july of 2009 and have always been moved by the poem. (note: the video portion of this is irrelevant, it was just faster to upload this as a movie file than audio)

2011-06-11T23:24:00.007-04:00

/and then she posed the final question,

the answer to which could set me free:

'do you ever wonder what will be the very last,

fading image that your eyes ever see?'

img hvy: all taken between 2007 to present

top to bottom: my driveway in webster ny, bridge in philadelphia, school in webster ny, playground in webster ny, spark art space syracuse ny, grand canyon, gravestone new hampshire

2011-06-10T23:38:00.002-04:00

/ the silent beauty of family, godchild jamie and my grandfather dziadzi, 2007

2011-06-10T23:29:00.002-04:00

'this morning, i was sitting

on the magic shitpot when i saw

a daydream in the mirror:

in the room where i live, sleep and work

the picture window came unhinged

i was hanging on as it flew off

my chest against the plane of light propelling it upwards

then i slide into the albumen of dawn

and rest, like an egg, in the palm

of a transparent hand

two fingers take me

slip me inside, to the center...

i don't cough, don't drown but go

back to sleep where i find

the kisses left in another dream...'

/ antonio porta, la cheirasca, may 17 1980, from the book 'kisses from another dream'